Make the Decision to Decide

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When I was in college, I was indecisive on the best ways to fill up my semesters so that I could graduate as quickly as possible and still do well.  I asked a friend for advice. I thought she was smarter and more experienced than me. She gave me great advice, and I took it. That decision added a year to my college education. It was not until the next semester was well on its way that I realized that what I had thought about doing with my classes before asking for her advice had been the better option. There were a couple of things I forgot to think about when I unthinkingly followed her counsel. Things like the fact that we were in completely different majors, therefore, the way she handled her classes were not necessarily helpful to me, I did not work as many hours as her and so could have taken more classes, and that we were two different people.

When it comes to decision making, no one makes better decisions about your life than you. Yes, it’s ok to ask for advice but just make sure you are treating it like what it is, advice. When I was younger, I thought everyone knew better than me what I should do.  Because of this attitude, it took me much longer to grow into myself.  The thing is, whether what you decide to do end up being a failure or a success, the most important part of that experience is that you decided, not let someone else decide for you. Attitudes like that are what lead to unhappiness and feelings of, “I don’t know who I am.”

Years from now, there might be a list of things that you never accomplished because you let life pass you by in a mist of indecisiveness. Don’t let that list be long or to exist at all. Take TODAY to start deciding what you want to accomplish with your life. Decide what the most important things and people are to you. Decide who you want to be and how you are going to get there. Decide to stop being indecisive and take a chance.

 

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Laureen is a freelance writer with a background in medicine. Although writing has always been her passion it was not until she was having a “how we want to raise our children” discussion with her husband that she came to an interesting realization; how could she teach her children to follow their dreams ambitiously when she was not living her own? At that point she started her writing and coaching career. She writes and coaches women about how they can gain clarity in their lives and work at 2clarify.com. Instagram: @laureenoliphant Facebook: facebook.com/laureenoliphant

Half Off Wednesday

Happy Wednesday! This week you can get the Chloe Dress for 50% off! Tell us your favorite thing about this dress?

Buy dress: http://www.mikarose.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=3&products_id=388

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How The Rain Can Improve Your Day

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I have to admit that when I heard that it was supposed to rain and be colder all week, I was a bit disappointed. There were many outdoor activities I wanted to do with my family and by myself that I had to put on hold because of the weather. My family goes out for walks or to ride our bicycles whether it’s winter, spring, summer or fall. The only thing that stops us is when it snows or rains. Hearing that it was going to rain all week put a damper on my mood. But then I realized three things that made me look forward to the rain.

  1. I would much rather it rained than snowed.

Let’s face it, the land needs its moisture to thrive. The precipitation can either come in the form or rain or snow, and I would much rather it rained. The first day of snow, I love watching it fall and how beautiful it looks on the ground. But then I have to deal with how muddy it can get. Also, I dislike driving on the freeway with a bunch of crazy people who don’t realize that they should slow down in inclement weather. It drives me bonkers!

The rain reminds me that life is going to be sprouting everywhere; flowers will bloom, the grass will get greener, and people will be outside everywhere I look. I love the LIFE that spring brings. Everything outside typically smells more alive in the rain.

  1. It’s a chance to be creative with my indoor activities.

Since I can’t go out much with my little boy while it’s raining, I need to come up with some fun indoor activities for him to enjoy. My eleven-month-old little man gets easily bored with the same activities, so I have to make sure to switch it up. We have come up with some great games that keep all of us laughing. One of my favorite activities is building creative forts out of anything I can get my hands on. Another is a dance competition. We either try to out dance each other or we mimic whatever the other person does (young children love this game).

  1. A good excuse to stay cozy and warm at home.

I love to read. And there is just something cozy and relaxing about reading a great book while it rains outside, especially with a hot cup of apple cider or hot chocolate next to you.  But it does not need to be a book that takes up your time. Grab a friend or significant other 😉 and have a great conversation on the couch while munching on something delicious. Or rent that movie you have been dying to see, sit back and enjoy.

We all deserve some peaceful, playful, and relaxing time. It’s an important part of self-care. Next time you peek out the window, and you see it’s raining, get excited, put your PJs back on, and enjoy some indoor fun.

 

What about you? What is your favorite indoor activity you do when the weather keeps you from being outside?

 

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Laureen is a freelance writer with a background in medicine. Although writing has always been her passion it was not until she was having a “how we want to raise our children” discussion with her husband that she came to an interesting realization; how could she teach her children to follow their dreams ambitiously when she was not living her own? At that point she started her writing and coaching career. She writes and coaches women about how they can gain clarity in their lives and work at 2clarify.com. Instagram: @laureenoliphant Facebook: facebook.com/laureenoliphant

MIKAROSE Modesty Monday

Contemplative girl

“We impose [on others] burdens of our own emotional past,” said Dr. Shefali  Tsabary, a clinical psychologist who writes about parenting. I have been thinking a great deal about one of the books she wrote, “The Conscious Parent”. Although the title of the book has the word “parent” in it, it is useful to anyone (whether you are a parent or have parents). She talks about how people interact and relate to each other, especially the parent-child relationship. We all seem to have a desire to either raise our kids the way we were raised or completely different. Either way, we are making our children vessels of our pain, joy and experiences, according to the book. And we do this unconsciously. At first, when I was listening to an interview with Dr. Shefali, I thought, “well, of course, we’re going to use our feelings and experiences to raise our kids. How else would we do it? There are no manuals out there for each child.” But then as I got further and further into the idea of conscious parenting or relationships, I began to understand what she was talking about.

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As a kid, I loved my Saturday morning cartoons. My Saturdays were much happier when I performed the ritual of watching my cartoons, and so I have tried very hard to make sure that my nieces and my kids were exposed to some of the same cartoons that I was.  After I had listened to the interview with Dr. Shefali, I began to ponder my desires, actions, and thoughts when it came not only to how I was influencing the children in my life but how I felt I was raised. When they were very young, my nieces loved watching the cartoons I liked to watch, but then they grew older and grew to know their own minds better. My nieces do not watch a lot of Tv so spending a day (even for just two hours) watching cartoons is not their idea of fun. After listening to Dr. Shefali, I realized how important it was to not only let them but help them listen to their inner selves.

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There is only and will ever be one you in the world. No one else is like you, even our fingerprints proof that. Why then would we try to replicate who we are in someone else? Or expect them to know and understand us completely? Is it ok to make someone else be in charge of validating who we are and our emotional needs? Our parents, kids, siblings, friends, teachers, etc., have their own core values and things that are important to them.  Let’s make it a goal to not criticize, ostracize, shame, or sadden them because how they feel is different than how we feel. Also, let us try to not overly push them when they are doing things that match with our thoughts and feelings. They should not need our approval to make sure who they are or who they are becoming is good. Instead of saying, “I think/feel…” let’s try to ask more, “What do you think/feel?” Find out what others want for themselves, who they want to be and what their idea of success is. Make it about them and not you. Because you understand how important it is for everyone to walk their own personal path to happiness, success, and freedom. And according to Dr. Shefali, once you understand the importance of really listening to your own intuition and inner voice, you will no longer need to read another parenting or relationship book.

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In the comments, I would love to hear from you. Do you promote conscious relationships? How do you do it? Do you agree with Dr. Shefali’s ideas? If not, what is it about that does not resonate with you?

 

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Laureen is a freelance writer with a background in medicine. Although writing has always been her passion it was not until she was having a “how we want to raise our children” discussion with her husband that she came to an interesting realization; how could she teach her children to follow their dreams ambitiously when she was not living her own? At that point she started her writing and coaching career. She writes and coaches women about how they can gain clarity in their lives and work at 2clarify.com. Instagram: @laureenoliphant Facebook: facebook.com/laureenoliphant

MIKAROSE Modesty Monday

3 Things That Have Helped My Self-Care As A Mother.

Since I became a mother, I have found it difficult to keep my clothes clean.  My clothes have been spit on, spilled on and rubbed on.  It can be quite frustrating.  There have been times when I have had the thought, “What’s the point of putting on something nice if it’s going to end up looking like I rolled in my food instead of eating it?”  But there is one very good reason to keep dressing well as a new mom despite how short-live the cleanliness of our clothes might be; Self-care.

Let’s face it, when you just had a baby your whole world changes.  Of course, there are some beautiful things about it.  I feel that one of the most beautiful things about it is how your heart becomes so much more capable of loving not only this new being in your life, but everyone.  Your world changes whether you have given birth, adopted or have become part of an already made family.  But there are some hard things that occur as well.  You are busier than you have ever been to the point that you don’t take good care of yourself.  That road, my friend, will only lead to emotional, mental and physical unhealthiness.

Taking care of your-self is a necessity; and taking care of the way I look helps me feel good and beautiful despite the chaos of adjusting to new things.  Here are three ways that have helped me to make sure I look my best while taking care of my child.

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  1. Have my clothes ready the night before (as mentioned in this post).

Make sure to buy clothes that are easy to put on and to maintain.  This way if you have just five minutes to get ready, it’s just as easy to slip on something nice.  One of my favorites go to clothes is the Mikarose Black Crepe Skirt.  I can match it with any shirt (my favorite that makes it easy for nursing is Red Cowl Neck shirt), so it’s easy to put an outfit together.

 

  1. Baby wipes.

Those things are great for more than just the hygiene of your baby.  When my baby spits up on me, I just clean it up with a baby wipe, and it is as if it never happened (at least after it dries).

 

  1. Go for a walk every day with baby.

Every day (unless weather or health prevents it), I take my baby on a walk.  A walk is great for many reasons.  The obvious reasons being that it’s good for your health, and your child usually loves being outside.  Exercise gives you natural endorphins which help your mood to be more stabilized and helps keep depression at bay.

Another reason is that it forces you to get ready for your day because you will be out and about instead of just home.  You are not going to stroll up and down your street or the park with your PJs on.  Looking good does not mean you have to slather on the make-up, dress like you’re about to walk down the runway, or any of those things unless you wish to.  It just means getting ready for your day in a way that makes you feel fresh and comfortable.  You deserve to feel good and comfortable.

 

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Laureen is a freelance writer with a background in medicine. Although writing has always been her passion it was not until she was having a “how we want to raise our children” discussion with her husband that she came to an interesting realization; how could she teach her children to follow their dreams ambitiously when she was not living her own? At that point she started her writing and coaching career. She writes and coaches women about how they can gain clarity in their lives and work at 2clarify.com. Instagram: @laureenoliphant Facebook: facebook.com/laureenoliphant